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Mediation is a voluntary process whereby parties to a dispute, i.e.,
divorcing spouses, meet with, (with or without attorneys) a trained third party who assists
them in reaching an amicable resolution to their controversy. |
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I only have mediation with trained attorney mediators. You and I will
be in one room and your spouse and his attorney will be in another room.
The mediator will go between the rooms with offers of settlement and will
facilitate an agreement. It is usually a successful way to settle
disputes. Come dressed comfortably to mediation, jeans and shorts are
fine.
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The following concepts are helpful in describing the mediation process. |
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Qualities:
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Voluntary - You can end the process at
any time for any reason, or no reason. If you are thinking of leaving, you
are encouraged to speak up and let the mediator know why. The reasons that
you are thinking of leaving can become conditions for your continued
participation. For example, if you are thinking of leaving because you do
not feel heard, presumably you would continue in mediation if you felt
heard. |
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Collaborative - You are encouraged to
work together to solve your problem's and to reach what you perceive to be
your fairest and most constructive agreement. |
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Controlled - You have complete
decision-making power. Each of you has a veto over each and every provision
of any mediated agreement. Nothing can be imposed on you. |
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Confidential - Mediation is
confidential, to the extent you desire, be that by statute, contract, rules
of evidence or privilege. Mediation discussions and all materials developed
for a mediation are not admissible in any subsequent court or contested
proceedings, except for a finalized and signed mediated agreement for
enforcement purposes. |
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Informed - The mediation process
offers a full opportunity to obtain and incorporate legal and other expert
information and advice. Individual or mutual experts can be retained.
Obtained expert information can be designated as either confidential to the
mediation or, if you desire, as admissible in any subsequent contested
proceeding. Expert advice is never determinative in mediation. You, as
parties, always retain decision-making power. Mediators are bound to
encourage parties to obtain legal counsel and to have any mediated agreement
involving legal issues reviewed by independent legal counsel prior to
signing. Whether legal advice is sought is, ultimately, a decision of each
participant. |
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Impartial, Neutral, Balanced and Safe
- The mediator has an equal and balanced responsibility to assist each
mediating party and cannot favor the interests of any one party over
another, nor should the mediator favor a particular result in the mediation.
The mediator's role is to ensure that parties reach agreements in a
voluntarily and informed manner, and not as a result of coercion or
intimidation. If you ever feel that the mediator is favoring one party over
another, or any particular result over another, or if you should ever feel
intimidated or otherwise unsafe in mediation, speak up. The mediation should
not continue unless you come to be satisfied in all of these regards. |
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Self-Responsible and Satisfying -
Based upon having actively resolved your own conflict, participant
satisfaction, likelihood of compliance and self-esteem are found by research
to be elevated through mediation. |
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Last updated 12/06/2012 |
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